All Black Challenge

Irish Rugby.

Paragraph Rubric.

Paragraphs
One key idea (usually in the first sentence with supporting details in the next sentences).
Sentences are connected and build up the MAIN idea.
A variety of sentence beginnings.
A variety of sentence types (. ? ! "")
A variety of sentence lengths.
Specific words (clever vocabulary) chosen carefully and used appropriately.

Task: Choose my favourite paragraph to evaluate how effective it is.

Paragraph	1	2	3
Content	I've attempted to write about one main idea.	I have a key idea in the first sentence with supporting details in the following sentences.	I've used sentences that are connected and build up the main idea
Sentence Beginnings	I've attempted to use more than one varied sentence beginning.	I've used some carefully chosen vocabulary/clauses as sentence beginnings.	I've used carefully chosen vocabulary/clauses as sentence beginnings.
Variety of Sentences	I've attempted to use a variety of sentence types, lengths or complexities.	I've used a variety of sentence types (.?!"") and sentence lengths and complexities	I've carefully chosen a variety of sentence types, lengths & complexities to enhance the paragraph.
Vocabulary	I've attempted to use some clever vocabulary.	I've chosen some clever vocabulary and have tried to use it appropriately.	I've carefully chosen clever vocabulary and have used it appropriately.
Comments:	Wow vanessa I can see you working really well on re design our courtyard.

Marked by Caroline.

8/12
We need a very good Extreme Makeover for room 17’s courtyard.There are many reasons for this.

The reason why we need a makeover is because our school is crowded by the years 7,8 , and some little kids could get hurt.I think people does not like coming here because its ugly and small places to play.This is not good.

In winter, our fields are always closed and our courts are stuffed with 500 kids , little kids get bumped over and get hurt.There are 500 hundred kids at Pt England school it is small for 500 kids.Wow that is allot of kids.

This is just a waste of space for this school,but sometimes we see some kids doing nothing. So Rm17 came up with an good idea we decided to make our courtyard a better place for the year 6 and up. This will stop little kids from getting hurt.

We really need a makeover because the drain is ugly and no color,leaking fountains,there’s a dirty ditch with grass in it. It is slippery on the grass,its has hard concrete.We need to get red of the grass on the fountain.

Rm seventeen really needs this extreme makeover.

LISTEN UP.

We have read a book called LISTEN UP.

Partly Cloudy.

This is the picture that I drew in Tux Paint!
Partly Cloudy.

The main character's are an stork and a gray cloud.
This movie is set up in the sky.
In the beginning all the storks delivered babies and puppies to their new families, but there is one stork who's boss makes dangerous mean little babies. Do you know what? the stork always get hurt from the baby creatures!

At the end of the movie, the stork went up to another cloud, the gray cloud got angry at the stork, and when he turned around he saw the stork had a bag.The stork opened it up and it was something to wear so he can not be hurt!
I give this movie 10 out of 10 because it is friendly and adorable.

Courtyard Makeover.

Did you know what I chose to put in room 17 courtyard?Well I added security cameras that could connect to a computer so when we get new staff and someone steals we could look on the computer to capture them just like the office!Do you know what I heard that the security cameras cost is $1500 that is so expensive!

I have picked our lawn to be an concrete because we could put the picnic tables on the concrete so we could eat our lunch's.We could even play some connect four and some other games on it.You will have even more space to play a cool game of basketball.

Who whould like to play here? bn

We are redesigning our courtyard.The problem is that the courtyard is to small play with.I have put a table with chairs and a basket ball hoop and the last one is concrete.